Can you even remember?
This past Valentine’s Day my husband and I went to a cooking class in the middle of the day. Yup, noon! (Super romantic 😉 ) The instructor asked us that question: When’s the last time you and your partner did something romantic?
I couldn’t think of an answer. Does this count?
I guess it totally depends on how you define “romantic.” Meaning the answer could be different between each partner. Let’s see what Merriam-Webster has to say! Shall we?
1a(1): a medieval tale based on legend, chivalric love and adventure, or the supernatural (2): a prose narrative treating imaginary characters involved in events remote in time or place and usually heroic, adventurous, or mysterious (3): a love story especially in the form of a novelb: a class of such literature
2: something (such as an extravagant story or account) that lacks basis in fact
3: an emotional attraction or aura belonging to an especially heroic era, adventure, or activity
WHAT THE HECK?!! A “medieval tale based on legend, chivalric love and adventure?” Who has time for that?! PUKE!
To me, being romantic means setting aside time to focus on and/or woo our partner. To set a mood, maybe listen to nice music, drink wine, give the person special attention to entice them to want to be intimate. Am I right?
Phew! I found another definition from our pals Merriam and Webster. “To romance” ALSO means to “try to influence or curry favor with especially by lavishing personal attention, gifts or flattery.” Well, at least that’s closer to what I thought it meant!
For some reason that question did a number on me. My husband and I have a good relationship, or so I thought. We support each other, we have fun together, but I couldn’t remember actually doing something “romantic” with him. How do people find the time? Am I alone in this? It felt like it.
(I mean … granted… I had been out of town for a month or so, but even before that, did we do something romantic together? Christmas is romantic, kinda? Right? I struggled to come up with an answer! Also, what was Steve going to say??? )
As people went around the room sharing their answers I began to feel more alone. In the room, mostly couples, everyone seemed to actually put aside time to focus specifically on their partner in an effort to be romantic. Some had just got back from traveling in Paris. Others talked about dinners they’d prepared together in the past. The pressure was building!
Then, it was my husband Steve’s turn. He talked about this time we went out to Simmzy’s (a casual American food place with lots of beer on tap) and then went for a walk along Manhattan Beach afterward.
What?!! That was another LUNCH (Which I don’t seem to associate with romance) And, I think he made that last part up! I mean, we probably went for a short walk back to the car! Maybe we went to the end of the pier, first, but how is that romantic? Did we even take a selfie? I think we did… I don’t think selfies are romantic. Are they? I remember feeling like we were in a rush because we had other stuff to do. I think he had work later.
Again… people have different definitions of romance.
Then my turn came up, and I mentioned that we must have done something kinda romantic at some point over Christmas, but honestly I couldn’t remember.
Here’s the point of this story. I love my husband. He is an amazing person and we have fun together every day! But, I think this question and my lack of a decent answer was telling in itself.
In this fast paced world– I need to slow down and take time to make him feel special and vice-versa. I need to learn what he thinks is romantic and vice-versa. We took premarital counseling. Which I highly recommend, but have we actually applied what we learned?
This class was a total reality check! (I also learned how to make Coq au Vin Blanc and chocolate custard.) Thanks #HipCooksLA
Also, I believe we should show our partner that we love them every day! Thanks to the book “The Five Love Languages!” But, though similar, love and romance have slightly different meanings and I think we all deserve to be “romanced” a little more.
Or, it could be because THIS is my husband’s definition of Valentine’s Day. 🙂
PHOTO ALBUM: Thanks to Vivian from HipCooks LA.